Hello Stress my name is Heather

I know many of you have had a time in your life were you feel like you don't know what to do first. Well, I have made it to that point.

I am sitting at home (ATX) after my first day of my last semester of college! Is that really exciting...well yes, but it also scares the hell out of me! I have been looking for jobs online for about an hour now and I still have no idea what I am looking at. It is so confusing because you see with nursing you can either apply for a specific job or for a nurse internship, which is something you enter right out of school. So say you go for that, well not all specialties are covered under this internship. YIKES! And what about the chance that the position you are applying for gets filled while you are in the process of applying? And should I work nights or what about a unit I have no desire to work on? Thank goodness there is a instructor that I am planning on meeting with later this week to help me answer some of the questions or so I hope.

I want a job! I want to be sucessful! I know I will eventually do both of these things, but there is so many things going on it is hard to keep it all straight. It makes my head spin just thinking about it all! When did I grow up. It seems like just yesterday Marcel and I were moving into the dorms saying goodbye to our parents and thinking, "wow, I can't believe we are finally in college!" Now we are in two separate cities and he is off furthering his education at med school, and I have to figure out how to be a big girl and get a job. Can I just stay in school forever? Maybe Ivy and April are onto something? Now I look back to the first day of freshman year and think where did the time go? I feel like the same girl, but when I really take a look at myself I am so much different.

I strive to be independent. I set goals for myself and not for my parents. I say this because 4 years ago I think I wanted to go to college and get good grades for my parents, but now I do this all for myself! Who knew that I would want to learn things, and many times I look for more than I am required to know just because it interests me! I hope that I will continue to feel this way once I am out in the real world working.

For once in my life I am not working. I get to be a full time student with no other requirements, and for whatever reason I feel more stressed than ever! I know everything will work out, because it just does. For now I am going to focus on the rest of the week and in a few short days I get to see my lovey in SA! I miss him so much!

Happy Hump day-ps just writing this has helped me decompress!