Ten truths

I am not really sure where to start about my ten truths...should it be about past or current events...hmm...here goes


1. Currently I feel like our world is turned upside down. I don't like to talk about it with anyone but Marcel and my family, but there is so many things up in the air and it is killing me slowly...I can't handle having things not planned.We have more acceptances to medical school, but none are where he really wants to go. My heart hurts for him to get let down and not know if he is going to get into the schools he really deserves to go to. So we wait some more. I applied for internships this summer, one being in Dallas....I might leave for the whole summer...terrifying. His grandad was just moved home to hospice care in South America....Marcel's dad is flying down there this Friday...none of us get to be there to say goodbye. We have no idea where we will be living come August, and all we can do is wait.....

2. I am such a procrastinator....like bad. I wait till the night before to do everything I possibly can. Each semester I start off saying I am gonna read ahead of time and secretly inside I know it's a lie. I wait till the last minute only because I know it can be done then and still get a good grade. I know bad, but it works...just shoots my stress level up for that night.

3. I tell everyone that it doesn't matter what my grades are now that I am in nursing school, because we only have to pass....but secretly I really want all A's. It is something inside me that I have to be the best to know that I will be a good nurse. I really want to make a 4.0 this semester, only because I think I can and because I never have. Nursing is the first thing I feel like I am really good at. It is who I am and I love that. It is so satisfying to finish helping someone and realize they couldn't have done that on their own without you.

4. I want to get married so bad, but I am scared to death. I complain all the time that we don't have a wedding date and I just want to hurry up and get married, but I am so thankful for the long engagement we have had already and we will continue to have. It has helped us grow together even more and I really needed that considering my family history with divorce. He is everything to me.

5. I wear grandma pajamas...like really bad ones. My mom and I actually have the same type just in different colors. They are nightgowns...and at first I was ashamed to share, but they are so comfy I can't not wear them. I have a long-sleeved one and short-sleeved one. The SOFTEST things I have EVER worn in my life. And Marcel just laughs at me and shakes his head, but he knows they make me happy.

6. I talk to the dog all the time. I catch myself doing it and then I keep talking to her. I know she can't respond, but it is so easy just to talk her anytime. I wish she could talk back, because when she tilts her head I want to know what that response means.

7. When Marcel and I first started dating I was never allowed to sit on his bed even if it was made. I thought this was a rule preventing "bad" things from happening when we were young. I later found out it was because he was taught his bed is clean and you don't get into it, or sit on it unless you have showered and are ready to go to bed. I always made fun of him for this, but now...I take a shower every night before I get into bed so I am clean. He broke me as I say...he made me fall into his silly thinking, and I like it. So every night we each take a shower before bed to get clean....yet the dirty dog is still allowed in bed too...haha.

8. Marcel is the first and only boy I have ever kissed, and I am the first and only girl he has kissed. We like that a lot and we always joke that we must be horrible kissers since we only have kissed each other. I think it is really special and I love telling people that and seeing the shock on their face. I couldn't imagine kissing another boy.

9. I love having a clean house, but I HATE cleaning. I only clean when it gets really out of hand, or when company is coming. I wish I had the urge to clean more, I am hoping that comes with time. Thank goodness I live with a clean boy...that helps.

10. I am so thankful for my family and Marcel's. Anytime something exciting happens I call my mom. I talk to her everyday...sometimes more than once a day. Marcel tells me to cut the cord...as in I am still attached to her womb, but I can't. She was all I had for so long, I many times need her acceptance or want to share my excitement with her. I have gotten a lot better about not needing her approval for things that Marcel and I can decide, but it was hard to get there. He has changed me into the person I am today, and I think that is a better person, but I can always go back to mom. And if she doesn't answer I call his mom. She's crazy, but fun to talk to!

There you go. I wasn't gonna blog unless April did, because I feel like I always ramble, but this gave mea specific topic so at least I could ramble about a specific thing. Hope you have a good week and I'll keep you updated!